Vampires at work

9:30 am and I just finished breakfast. Another day of fasting, and this time it was so that I could get more blood work done.

Dr. Chang had ordered a bunch more blood tests and I had to get this done, not by sweet and super-compentent Tracy, but by the hospital's phlebotomists. When I checked in, I told the woman, "I want your best blood drawer." She said, not to worry, we have "Arterial Jill" in today! So I was happy.

Well, so Jill comes out to get me and I smiled and said, "You must be Arterial Jill."
She looked at me like something that had just dropped off the ceiling into her soup. "Phlebotomist Jill," she replied with no change of expression.

Well.. ok, I'm not going to argue about her nicknames. She had a look at my right arm... then my left... then back to my right. I was thinking thoughts about big veins.

I'd done my part. I awoke early with Michael and we worked out at the gym. I even did an extra couple of sets of arm workouts. We left there warm. I took a hot shower and then put on a sweatshirt. I even had a hot flash on the way to the hospital. "This is going to be good!" I thought.

But it was cold in the hospital and the blue everywhere ... Well, Jill actually did get blood on the 2nd stick. I had to keep asking how we were doing, because I will not look. "Three tubes done...Ten total" ..."Five tubes done..." ..."Your flow is slowing down. I'm going to have to readjust this."

That's French for, "Stand by for pain." A little stirring around with the needle, and we were back in business for one more tube.

And she stirred around again and we got another tube. I told her that I was trying hard to be good so that I'd get a sticker. I saw them tantalizingly hanging on the wall. She said not to worry, that I'd be getting a sticker for sure.

Finally she got into the vein again and got the 8th tube. But then the flow stopped. She pulled the needle out then and told me to hold the gauze on it. "Are we done?" I asked expectantly.

But I knew that they still had 2 more tubes to go. I asked why they couldn't just do with the blood that they had. I explained that those forensic folks on TV can get a person's whole biological history from blood spatter evidence that's years old!

She explained -- and by now there was a second vampire along to help move me out of there -- that they have to put the blood in certain tubes which have certain additives already in them. Different tests mean different additives. Well... so there we are.

The male vampire -- I didn't get his name (rude of me, I know) -- then whispered something to vampire Jill, who left unceremoniously.

He asked me if I'd ever had blood taken from my hand. Urgh. He got a skinny needle and put a warmer thing on my hand. Then he stuck and drew and had me move this way and that trying to get the flow to go. And he did finally get enough to fill those two remaining tubes.

I didn't get home to eat till 9:30, and now I have a full day of work to do in half a day. ;) I know. Take it easy, and I will. I am thinking about telling my students about all of this.