The Story of My Life

I won't name it that, but I've been thinking ... forever... about writing this down. It seems to me that I have a lot to say. But there are some issues that I have -- questions. I read someplace that we shouldn't write our autobiography as if we are the hero of the story. We should not make ourselves out to be martyrs. And, I guess, when I think of what I came through, I feel like a hero.

It seems to me like people would want to know my real feelings and about what really happened, through my eyes, but how do I deal with the stuff about which I'm not proud? I guess everyone has these things, but how do we deal with them in an autobiographical setting? It seems that, to leave them out, would be perpetuating a lie.

That is what I did in my diary, way back when. I remember writing several pages about the sexual abuse I was undergoing at the time, and then later tearing out pages and crossing parts out in such a way that no one could ever see what I wrote. I would love to see what I wrote. I know that I believed then, and for many years thence, that I was responsible for what was going on.

(I've since made peace with myself about that, realized that, as a child, I was not at fault. Men who don't know better, or who know better and don't care, will pick up on a little girl's flirting. Little girls flirt. Responsible adults tell them to run along and play.)

But anyway... things about which I'm truly ashamed, like stuff I did as a young adult, things I've done which have hurt other people, things I've thought of doing to hurt other people... How do I deal with those in my autobiography? I think that this is the stumbling block that keeps me from telling my story, much of which for I'm rightfully proud, and which I think would be good reading.

It seemed like a busy day

...but I can't really tell you anything I did. Well, I'll give it a try, anyway. I started out with 30 minutes of Wii Zumba, breakfast, and then Strength and Fitness with Greg. Friday's class always has a focus on ab work, which I guess I hate, but I hate it less than I used to!

After a shower and some playing with newspaper crosswords, at which I've discovered I ROCK, it was time for the Entertainer meeting. We're talking about this year's production, which will be in variety show format. Jack's directing again, so it'll be fun.

Lunch! I finished up my spam, along with a carrot, glass of milk, and 2 cookies! Yeah, yeah. But it's all good. The pounds are dropping off as slowly as they came on, and that's ok.

A walk to Sprouts for some veggies, and a bike ride to the corner of our park where they have a Farmers' Market set up on Friday afternoons, and I have some veggies and some frozen soup for a later time.

This was such a gorgeous day with a high in the upper 60's and a bright sunny sky punctuated by wispy clouds. While I do hate the cold, I can deal with our 3 weeks of winter. I'm happy to see that spring is here, though. (I really think that it is!) Our garden shops are all stocked with plants and seeds, which look very ready to adorn people's gardens.

Jack and I are talking about getting our garden going again. He bought some seeds already, and the soil is amended and looks pretty good.

Eat This, Not That

I love Eat This, Not That. It's a division of Men's Health, but, men or not, I find that it's refreshingly honest, hitting the food industry where it ought to be hit. We all know what we should be eating, after all, but the food industry does all it can do, with all its creativity and marketing clout, to waylay us from moving toward health. They make more money from the processed stuff than they do from fresh, wholesome stuff, I guess.

Today's posting for Eat This, Not That, in Facebook, is "6 Freaky Fast Food Creations," and it's great. Do have a look at some of this stuff that is being marketed to US.

It's warmer today. I should really go out and take down my Christmas lights, but... LOL I'm not going to do it, so there goes that "should."

Jack and I went to dinner at Olive Garden last evening with our friends John and Peggy. It was a nice time, and we enjoyed our food. We get leftovers for supper tonight, too!

After that, I went to church choir practice. I do love being part of this choir, but I do so wish that people would practice their parts. I'm not saying that I'm a talented singer, by any means, but at least I practice my part till I know it. Our practices could go for half the time, or we could do lots more, if people would just come in prepared, and manage their talking/listening skills, too. Just a pet peeve of mine.

Christmas Lights

I love my Christmas lights that I put up outside on my deck's railing. I love them so much that I still have them up! LOL. I enjoy the bit of color and extra light right now, in this darkest part of the year. Maybe I'll take them down tomorrow, when it's warmer, and put up plain white lights. Jack is shaming me into it. I guess I'm playing the eccentric old lady part a little prematurely.

Today was musical for me. I practiced my choir music for church, after a proper warm-up, of course. After that, I played my penny whistle through many of my tunes. What fun!

Dinner was at Olive Garden with John and Peggy. Food was great, and we really enjoyed our server-in-training.

Yesterday, I brought home two lamps to try for my living room, and I opted for the Tiki Arc Floor Lamp you can see here: http://www.worldmarket.com/product/tiki-arc-spheres-floor-lamp.do?camp=ppc:GooglePLA:none:goobase_filler&gclid=CPjL7vDF7rQCFUlxQgodGlUA4A . It looks great, so I returned the other one, without even having taken it out of its packaging. The lamp I had was not really tall enough for where I had it and it didn't give enough of the right sort of light.

And, finally, it's a bit warmer! We had several nights of below-freezing temps, where we were advised to leave a trickle of water running, but hopefully that's over now. I am looking forward to leaving one of my jacket layers home, and perhaps the gloves, too.

Cold Day in Paradise

It's saying 39 now, but it was just 20 when we awoke here in Tucson. Ah well, we can handle 2 weeks of winter! Now when it gets to be 3, I'll be complaining! LOL

No one asked me what the box is that's under my desk. That is my custom made-by-me footrest! In order to make the desk ergonomically somewhat correct, I had to raise my chair quite a bit, leaving my feet dangling. Thus the footrest. I had one in my old desk set up before, but it wasn't as fancy as this one. ;) When I decide for sure on the measurements, I'm going to have Jack make one for me out of wood.

Last evening, we had ballroom dance lessons, and it was, as always, great fun. Having taken... I don't even know how many .. beginner dance lessons, Jack and I are pretty darned good at beginning ballroom dancing! Someday we'll get up the courage to try something maybe... intermediate! We're a long way from Dancing With The Stars.

I did some more Photoshop work today, reworking our church's logo. I love doing logo work! There's hardly anything about Photoshop that I don't love, actually.

Another couple or 3 weeks, and I'll have my weight back where it belongs. I'm going in the right direction finally.

My New Desk

I promised pix of my new desk, and here we are! This is the desk in closed position.

 



And here it is all ready to use. I'm really enjoying this. It's the perfect size for my small space, and yet it gives me plenty of room to work! I got it from hayneedle.com and their service was excellent!

I hear you breathing

I know you're out there. I hear you breathing! So please feel free to leave a comment, even if it's just "I agree," or "That's bogus." Certainly I'd like to know more, and if you sign your posting, I love that, because it feels like I'm actually writing for real people. But I don't require your identity for you to post a comment. Please note, though, that I do approve your comments before they are posted in my blog. Offensive stuff, even if it's just offensive to me, ads, etc, will not be posted.

So... Saturday was good. Jack and I went to the wedding reception of some friends from church, and it was grand. They held an open house at their house and they had big glass hurricanes full of different kinds of M&M's.... Any party with hurricanes full of M&M's is a good one. They also had other delicious food, wine and beer, and many interesting people to meet and talk with.

Today I was Lay Leader in church. Everyone likes when I'm Lay Leader, because I speak clearly and slowly enough. I like doing it because it's a kind of public speaking opportunity which is not dangerous. That is, I'm speaking to friends who mostly agree with what I'm saying. And, while I do not agree with all I say, it is an opportunity to exercise my dramatic ability.

For lunch, I indulged in one of my favorite things -- Wasa toast with peanut butter and apple slices.