Pics of my House

Here are a few:
The Guest Room:




The Guest Bathroom:



The Living Room and Piano Room:



The room that used to be my Bakery:



And now this part is funny. I moved my bed out of there to put the carpet in, and so I needed to come up with another bed. I MADE this one out of boxes:

I've learned a lot

One thing that I've learned is how wonderful it is to have friends -- real friends -- upon whom I can rely and who can rely on me. And I have such great friends, don't I? :) And I include my family in this number, too, because I think that family who are also friends bless us doubly.

Karen and Dona, it's great to hear from you and to know that you're still following my blog. I write just as I talk, so, when we ultimately meet face-to-face, you'll feel like you already know me! And, after all we went through together, I don't feel like we're strangers. I'm glad you're both doing well. I find it interesting that you, too, gave up your dog, Karen. For me it was more a physical need. My little RV that I'm finding myself living in (as well as my cottage in Tucson) is just not big enough for a dog as big as she is. I was finding myself gone all the time and I could see sadness in her eyes, it seemed.

Annette, Robert, Becky, and DL.. you guys are great -- friends and family rolled into one.

And I'm happy to see my Photoshopping friends are still following me: John, Dorothy, Bonnie, Lynell, and Maxine! You folks have given me so much over the years, and I continue to wallow in all of your love.

So today was another day of panic and working, but mostly panic. I had the movers here, taking another load of stuff, including the huge bed, the dresser, recliners.. and some boxes. I do hope that they made it up to your place, Annette!

And then the carpet people came. The carpet looks fine, all except for a patch where they just left nothing between the bedroom and bath, where the carpet used to meet the tile. Now there is a 1" gap between the carpet and tile. I went to Lowe's and told the guy and he reassured me that the people would come and fix it and that I'd be happy. I am sure that I will be. I am not happy with it now, though.

I paced around a lot. I cleaned bugs out of the fan lights. I cleaned some paint off the kitchen floor. And then I went out and did errands. I cashed a check that Michael had gotten, and that's always an ordeal. "Well, why didn't he sign this?" And they have to go and check with someone to see if it is ok that I cash the check. What do normal people do when their husbands die? It seems that it shouldn't be such a rare event for these bank tellers!

I got flowers for my guest bathroom vases, I got cat food and litter at Petsmart, and I had a failed attempt to find a nice dress at TJ Maxx. I'm not sure who their market is at TJ Maxx, but it is most certainly not me, at least when it comes to clothes.

So I went to the mall and tried on things at Macy's, looked at things at some other places, and then went to Christopher & Banks. They had a little party going on with snacks and special sales for teachers. I didn't even use their special sale; the dress that I liked was on sale anyway - 1/2 price! Woo hoo! And it was just the thing that I wanted. Maybe I'll take a pic of myself in it for y'all. The other cool thing is that it'll go perfectly with the orange shoes and purse that I already have. (I'm one of those very rare women who doesn't go crazy for new shoes.)

One thing that makes me smile these days is realizing that no one in the stores really tries to wait on me anymore. It must be a demographics marketing thing. When I was 16 and couldn't afford anything, the sales people were all over me. Now I could own the store if I wanted -- well maybe not, but they don't know that -- and no one cares that I'm in there. I shop in peace.

Friends, Lovers, and Strangers

I don't know who that unsigned "anonymous" posting was, but it gives me a good opportunity to say this: No one can ever know what goes on behind another person's doors -- even our very best friends, but certainly not some stranger who won't post a name. While I don't feel a need to defend myself, since you, anonymous, are reading my blog, you must care about me enough to want to know more about me.

People who know me understand me, know a bit of what I've gone through, know how passionately I love and live, and how carefully I've considered my recent life changes. Do I make mistakes? Do things sometimes happen in a difficult sequence? Of course. If I could have met Jack when I was fully healed, and he was too, perhaps *other people* would be more relaxed about accepting us as a couple.

This anonymous person seems to think that I've forgotten Michael. For anyone who has ever said two words to me, you know how false that is! Michael is in every breath I take, every song I hum, and every paper clip I find.

Michael was 14 years my senior, so we knew that it was likely that he would precede me in death. We had talked about my future many times over the years, and he urged me to find love again. That I seem to have found love with Jack would please Michael immensely, because he knew and loved Jack.

And you think that I've "forgotten" Maddy? Uh... I just took her to her new home last night. I guess it would be a pretty cold person who could forget her that soon, wouldn't it?

I talked to D early today, and this morning Maddy had been running after a stuffed toy, catching a ball, and she was resting behind D's chair as she worked. I think that my decision was a good one for Maddy and D, and ultimately, it will be the right thing for me. For now, Eddie is pissed off at me, I'm feeling lonely, and I'm quite tearful.

Time Passing

... and it's passing too fast! For those of you who were concerned about me, I'm in Bloomington, I'm fine, and I'm happy! I won't go into all the stuff that I've been doing, but I've had lots of fun, done some good, and have made progress toward my goals.

I did see Jack, indeed. We had a dandy time together from the 7th - the 16th of August. We climbed hills, we ate good food, we played games, drank a couple of margaritas, laughed with others, shopped at Lowe's, and patched and painted.

Yesterday was fun. Annette and Lisa came down and they helped me to pick out accessories to set up my house to sell. I now have my appraisal, and am just about ready to put the place up on the market. Things I have yet to do:

• Painting touchups
• Paint trim on back doors
• Get paint out of house
• Put 2 new light bulbs in very high places in garage
  
• Curtain rods up
• Curtains hung
• New carpet in Master (tomorrow)
• Set up queen bed in Master
• Get king bed, recliners out of house
  
• Clean bathrooms
• Clean kitchen floor
  
• Clean kitchen counters, sinks
• Clean fans
• Move deck furniture to deck (recover?)
  
• Plant and mulch flower boxes
• Plant outside pots
• Photograph rooms and outside views
• Create and post website for house photos and specifications
• Other stuff that I don't know yet

So, in other words, I'm just about done! Actually, it seems as if I have many mountains to climb -- as if I've just begun. I wish I could see the progress I've made, instead of seeing just seemingly insurmountable obstacles!

Other things: After months and months of meditation, I've made the very difficult decision to give Maddy to my friend DL. She will have a good home there, more time and room to roam, while still being an inside dog. And, while I know that I will miss my dog fiercely, I will have the freedom to travel more easily.