Thanks, everyone, for your votes of confidence! Barb.. a chainsaw.. wow! My next power tool is going to be the weed whacker, I think.

Re the relationship and what happened: I think that I would describe what we're doing now as a pulling back. While we loved each other, and still do, we really began living together as a convenience to both of us. He needed a place to be, and so did I, so we decided to just be together. I was very freshly widowed, and wasn't thinking entirely rationally. I was needful, and so was Jack. And we did have lots in common, as we still do.

The logistics of living together in such a small space as the RV and my Tucson cottage, however, proved to be daunting. We fought frequently, mostly about *stuff*. I think that I have not been ready to fully share my life. I've been called "selfish," but, to that, I say... "Ok, so what?" I believe that I've earned the right to be a bit selfish. I know that a time will come when I can fully appreciate another person, but I'm not sure that the time is now.

Also, having not lived long by myself, following Michael's death, I didn't have an opportunity to learn about living my life. (Neither did Jack.) Now I'm getting that chance, and sort of learning about who this Janee person is. I did it for a short time after Michael died, but I feel like I need more of that independence. Jack is enjoying his independence, too. He's working on getting his house cleaned up and starting to think about fixing the things that need fixing. It is important for him to do this.

Today I put gas in my new car, for the first time. Woooo hoo! The firsts just keep on happening!