Rainbows!

I'm doing this in a color reminiscent of rainwater, because it's still raining! For a few hours this afternoon, it was raining while the sun shone, and that means ... rainbows! There were several today, resplendent, very clear rainbows. Sometimes one would stretch all the way across the sky! Did I take any photos? No, because it was raining!

I'm waiting for the perfect occasion to take a pic of my haircut, which is pretty stupid, because it is growing out, as I think about it. I have to find someone to take the picture, too.

I want one of those round styling brushes so that I can blow-dry my hair and make it look sassy for the photo. I'm not sure why I don't have one of those brushes. In this climate (except when it's raining), my hair dries by the time I'm dressed, so I don't use a dryer unless I'm doing something fancy like styling my hair. I think that this is the most I've ever written about my hair.

Thank you, Andrew, for the idea for retitling my blog. Since I'm writing every day, it seems fitting! :)

Today I slept in, to my dismay. I was dismayed because, while I was outside taking Maddy out, still in my jammies and robe at 9am, Margaret and Lew drove up, wanting to take me to Beyond Bread for breakfast! I was not allowed to go in my jammies, darn it! So it was granola and skim milk, which was delicious, but not quite the same as a scrumptious morning feast with my friends.

I did make it (on time) to a meeting of a grief support group held locally. It's for widows and widowers, and they have an excellent facilitator. We discussed the holidays and strategies to cope. The people were all lots of fun and I enjoyed the time. Afterwards, we went to a Mexican restaurant, Casa Molina, for a very good lunch.

I came back here and read more in my book "Woman in Levi's." It's a story by a woman, Eulalia Bourne, who set up a small cattle ranch very near where I'm living. It gives a really good look at the hardships and joys she experienced. I am particularly interested in the stories about the plants, animals, and weather phenomena. This is a different world indeed, and it's fun to learn about it while I'm living here.

And I worked more on my site plan for my projects. I have to turn that in to JoAnn to get the whole thing approved. I am really hoping for a positive response to all of it!

I walked late this afternoon, when the rain finally let up. There was still a lovely rainbow decorating the sky for me! I walked around the little adobe neighborhood behind the Village. The houses are all identical, excepting the colors of the paint on the adobe, and the plantings outside.

At one point, I was swinging my arms as normal, and got too close to a huge agave plant. There are no friendly desert plants, and the agave is no exception. And yes my hand did bleed, thanks to my aspirin regimen! At least I didn't get into a cholla!

And the Rains Came!

Pitter patter! It's POURED for this whole evening, after moderate rains all day today and yesterday. And while I KNOW that it's good for the water table and the cactus will bloom better in the spring for having had this water, the rain still makes me whine.

So.. today. I began the day with my walk on the rim of the Pantano Wash, which might actually be flowing by now. While the sky was gray and roiling, I kept dry.

Next was the Computer Club meeting, and that was fine. The hour passed quickly and we learned some interesting lessons.

I went to the office to ask permission to build the little walled patio, and the request has been taken to the top for consideration. This will surely be okayed, because the construction will be good and will add value to the lot and the park.

They are also considering whether it is OK for me to have my little RV sitting on my lot. I think that, as long as I'm not using the RV for a living space, it's no more than a storage shed, and those are allowed. There is a rule against having plumbing in a shed, but many of the people have fully plumbed sheds. And many people use their sheds as living spaces, too, having converted them to offices, workshops, TV rooms, or guest quarters.

Once I get that okayed, I'm going to go on and have the pad that she sits on concreted too. I got an estimate today for all of that concrete work, and they'll be ready to go on it as soon as I get the okay. Yay!

I went to lunch with George and JoAnn, and that was fun. I can't remember the name of the place we went, but it starts with a Z, is a Mexican place, and is on Broadway. I want to say "Zelig," but that's a Woody Allen movie.

I was going to do laundry today, but I decided not to, because a) it was raining, and b) Marla was doing her laundry. LOL!

Instead, John and I went looking for GPS units. I am looking now at the Magellan Maestro 4250 and the Garmin 750, but i have not actually seen the Garmin. Both Best Buy and Circuit City have GPS's, but they seem pretty pricey compared to the internet sources. While i've been a Garmin Girl for a long time now, I am really looking at that Magellan. Urgh.. I wish I had a good answer for this. I may end up not making a decision right away, which would mean that I won't be selling my 350 just yet, either. I have to decide soon whether to do that or not, though.

Thing is, I've had the 350 for just 8 months, and it's doing just fine. I would get $250 for it if I sold it, but the new 350's (same as mine) are still selling for $449 (at Best Buy and Circuit City).

When the buying decisions get too complex, it's time for... El Paso BBQ! John and I enjoyed a delicious repast of ribs, bbq chicken, and bbq beef brisket along with mashed potatoes and cowboy beans. Mmmm.. mmm!

So.. another day of nothing to do and all day to do it, and it's done!

Got out the RV

Today I had an appointment for my little Navion to get her oil changed. I got up early, because my neighbors were all going to Nogales and they had offered to help me squeeze the RV out of her little hidey hole before they left. It started on the first pull, and I got it out of her hole without any problem at all. I am serious when I say that there are only about 6" on either side when I pull her through the narrow part of the driveway. Thank goodness I have friends here! :D

I drove it to La Mesa and Javier helped me out right away, even though I was over an hour early. Over $140 for an oil change, but I guess the thing has lots of oil.

After I was done with that, I took her out on the highway just for some exercise. I went northwest on I-10 to Picacho Peak State Park. Looking up at that magnificent peak again brought back all those memories... of last spring's hike up there! Man, was that quite the thing. I wonder if I'll be better this year, since I've been taking steps 2 at a time!? Just for a little "blast from the past," here are my pics from Picacho Peak this past spring. :)

I drove back to town and returned to La Mesa -- for the free lunch! Every day they serve the best hotdogs and hamburgers ever, chips, and soft drinks. Michael and I used to go have lunch with them about once a week. I have been just twice so far this season. ;) I also get free hugs from the salespeople. Today it was Rich.

I awoke this morning with an inspiration for my little patio project, and I think that it's going to be really good. I'm planning now to return the landscaping fabric that I bought, and hire a concrete person to form up and finish a concrete patio with walls around it. Then I'll finish the walls and patio with tile!

I had gone to Home Depot yesterday and just test-lifted some pavers. Urgh. I'd come out of that project with huge muscles, and I just don't think I'd look good with huge muscles. "Besides, which do I have more of," I ask myself, "Money? or strength?" :) Much easier to write a check than install heavy pavers, ribar, concrete blocks, etc.. Tomorrow I'll make that call.

Al and Donna came back yesterday, and they came to visit today! YAY! They've been great friends to both Michael and me, and the place seemed incomplete without them here.

I love your comments in my blog! Annette, I called Robert and he told me to tell you that you're OUT of the family. (not really)

Lynell, LOL re the office scissors! Put on a headband to pull the mess out of your eyes. That'll save your sanity and doesn't look all THAT stupid.

Oh, and everyone, Becky's hair is VERY cute. I just forgot to mention that. I was too busy thinking about how cute MINE is! LOL! I know that no one will believe me unless I post a pic, which I'll do... soon! :P

Back home again!

East or west -- Home is best! And my "west" home is where I am now, and it's best!

I just returned from a week in Denver, celebrating Thanksgiving with Michael's family. Becky and I stayed with Joel and Becca, who were magnificent hosts. Becca served her first-ever Thanksgiving feast in their lovely home, with a little help, and it was an eximious feast indeed! My favorite dish was Becca's cranberry jello salad, with celery and walnuts. Mmmm!

Walking in Denver was, as always, a challenge. The temperatures ranged from below 20 to nearly 50, with most days closer to 20. Two of the mornings it snowed, and there was frequently wind. It was tough on this Arizona girl, but I did it.

On a couple of days, Becky and I went shopping, and another day we went and got haircuts. Mine is much shorter -- about 5" shorter -- but cute. I got layers this time, which gave me a bit of bounce and curl. I'll post a photo as soon as I have a good one for you. The one I took in the salon didn't turn out.

I dropped Becky off at the airport this morning, and then went to return my rental car. That is so slick and easy. I told the young woman that there was a funny noise in the back of the car, but she did not seem to care at all.

The Frontier flight was easy. I flew on Cloe the fawn this time. I don't think that I've ever flown on the same animal twice. I took a pic of the wing, as I always do. I'll post that as soon as I get the pic out of the camera.

John picked me up at the airport, and took me to Denny's for a very late breakfast. Eddie was happy to see me, rolled around a few times on the floor, watched carefully as I unpacked and put things away, and then went back to sleep on the back of the couch.

Maddy had been staying with Rob and Ione, and they were not home when I returned, so I had to wait patiently. When they came with her, we were both happy to see each other! They did spoil her (by their own report) by doing things like heating her food, and letting her have a nightlight in her room at night. They also worried when there was some thunder, but they took her into their room and they heard thunder alternating with Maddy's snores!

Bright sunny Sunday

Another beautiful day in paradise! I began my day with a walk with Maddy over through the neighborhood on the other side of Pantano. It was 50 when i started, and I don't think it warmed up much till I got back!

When I returned, I saw John and we went over to the French bakery right behind us and got some rolls which we enjoyed at my cottage. Then I went over to Delores' to help her and Ardell with a blog question.

Laundry followed. Yes, I know it was an exciting day! :D I wrote a few thank you's for the nice people who gave donations in Michael's memory to the Bloomington Hospital. The hospital really should give those of us who are now handwriting-challenged due to excessive computer use the email addresses of those who gave. If you did give and haven't heard from me yet, just be patient!

I'm flying out of here tomorrow, and I may not be blogging till I return. I haven't decided whether to take my computer.

I've arranged for a sitter for Eddie, and Maddy will be in the care of other neighbors, so my cottage will be well cared-for when I'm gone.

I did make an extensive list today, a habit that I've been cultivating since Michael's passing. And I got most of my packing done, which is good, since I'll be pulling away from here at 8:20 tomorrow morning! (Yikes!)

Love for sale

Well... not really, but we did have a patio sale today! I went in with Rob, Ione, Steve, Harold, and Kathy, and we got rid of some things. I made $15 which was the most of anyone in our group. YAY! I sold the old lamp that I took out of my kitchen, some DVD's and CD's of Michael's, and some other miscellaneous stuff.

The day was perfect -- just a few wispy clouds, no wind, and temps in the mid-70's.

After the sale, our group went out to lunch at Chuy's where I got chicken soup and delicious crusty garlic bread. Then we went to a small outlet mall on the south side of town. I bought some new soft, warm jammies and a robe.

I didn't get any photos taken today, but I'll do it before any work gets done. I am still collecting visions of the sort of thing I want to do for my walls around my little patio. I'm pretty excited about all of this. They promised me mid-December for completion of my awning, and I'm going to be even more ready for it by then!

I was a little bit sad during parts of the day today, remembering Michael and what it felt like to be with him. I was looking at what has become my favorite picture of him with me:

.... He looks so healthy here in early 2006, (and he was then), and tonight I miss him so. I just want to look into those adoring eyes again, to hear his voice, to feel his hand holding mine. And I want his assurance that I'm going to be ok, that the pain will ease, that I will be able to somehow find real joy in my life.

Whew! That was a sobfest. Now I'm back.

It's not that my life is a whirlpool of despair; it's not. I am getting into some new routines, new habits, and I am taking some pride in the life that I'm making. I'm doing things that I've never done before, and I'm accomplishing them with a sort of timid grace that I never knew I possessed.

But I have fears that I never had before, too. I worry too much about what people are going to think or say. I worry about my taxes. I worry about not being able to give enough.

I am worrying about my upcoming Thanksgiving trip to Denver. I have flown alone - once for a teacher convention - but I don't remember what that was like. I am sure that Michael made my arrangements for me and I do remember that he took me to the airport and back home. I'm just a little frightened.

Raindrops on Roses

Today we had just a wee bit of rain! I counted 12 drops on my deck. :) It is the sort of rain that makes me feel like going out in it so that's what I did. Of course, then it stopped.

After my walk and shower this morning, I did laundry. Then John came over and helped me to finish up the light project. And it is finished and the lights look grand! The pendants we put on the track lighting fixture needed to have pole extenders and so I found aluminum tubes at Lowe's. Some sandpaper roughed them up, giving them a beautiful brushed finish like the other lamp's extenders. So I'm happy!

Ok, you want to see a pic of the lights. In these photos, I have on only the new lights in the kitchen. There are other lights in the ceiling and in the beams. It is a very bright room. Please click these photos to enlarge them.

In this next photo, you can see the enclosure that I made for Maddy under the desk. She has her own window, too, under the desk. There are privacy panels around under the desk for all the other windows, but not at Maddy's window. I made her enclosure with a baby gate and friction-fit curtain rods. It closes with a small bungee cord.


And here's another couple of bonus shots from the kitchen toward the living room. In this first shot, you see my computer. That's where I have been sitting to do all my blog entries since I got here. The computer is sitting on both of the wood boards that Bob made for me and Michael. The space in between the boards helps to dissipate the heat from the computer:

And here's another one of me. :)
I am working on some landscaping for the new place, now that I'm all moved in! :) I am going to be putting in a sort of little patio in the front, with small tiled block "retaining walls" and some kind of paver blocks for a floor. I have a fellow engaged who is going to do the excavating for it, including taking out a weird extraneous piece of concrete that was mistakenly poured there.

I'm also going to be putting in more decking in the back and then an awning over all of the decked areas. As it is now, my deck gets to about 800 degrees when it's noon. Adding the awnings will increase the amount of time that I can be outdoors, and that's good.

Tomorrow, I'll take some "before" shots of the outside of the cottage.

Don't let it be a crappy day

I post frequently in a brain tumor spouse support group online. This group has been very helpful to me over the past many months, and I have striven to give back when I can. Here is something I just posted to this group, in response to someone who said that, if you're having a bad day, just let it be bad:

Please don't let it be a crappy day if you feel bad. Please do what you can to lift yourself and your spouse to a new place, if only for a moment.

The fact is that today may be the last day that he can talk. It may be the last day that you can get into a car together. It may be the last day that you can go to a restaurant and eat in a civilized way in public. This may be the last day you can laugh together with friends.

If you do what you can to turn negative thoughts into positive actions, you are going to be happier, and your spouse will be too. And, at the end of the day, please smile at yourself in the mirror and whisper, "I did it!"

What you're doing a great thing. When this is all over, you will be the hero or heroine. You'll have no regrets. You will have done all you could to take the best care of your sweetie. This is your moment in the sun! This is your chance to really shine -- to be the best person you can be. This is the day that you can prove to yourself and to the world that you're a fine person, and the very best spouse.

Every little thing you do is part of a bigger picture. And those little things are adding up to the experience that is your life. While it feels like your life is "on hold," -- and I know what that feels like! -- this IS your life, as real as any other part of it. Make it good!

Hiking day

Today was hiking day, and the Hardy Hikers from Far Horizons did the Bajada View Trail in Saguaro East. It's a pretty challenging hike, with some fairly steep ascents, but overall not a huge elevation change. The heat of the day made it a bit more difficult than it might have been. The hikers were (L to R) Bob, Janee, Bob, Dawn, Duane, Earl, Rob, and Duane. (Two Bobs, and two Duanes!)

After hiking, I did email, took a shower, talked to some friends, and then went to Casa del Rio for supper with the group. Good time, good day!

Here's a pic of me hanging my new lamp in my computer area. I did this a few days ago, and I love the lamp!

Lazy Sunday

Lazy day today! I began ambitiously walking with Maddy on the east side of Pantano, across the street from the Village. I have always liked walking around in neighborhoods, and this one is a good one to walk in. I like to look at how people landscape their lots in this desert climate.

Only a few people landscape with grass, which they fertilize and water constantly. Most use small reddish granite gravel, which they rake into place. They position large smooth river rock (probably harvested from the Wash) in circles, and, inside the circles, they plant a cactus, palo verde tree, or a palm tree. Variations on this are interesting.

After our walk, it was housecleaning day! I dusted, vacuumed, and took the trash to the clubhouse. I stopped in and talked to John while his Denver Broncos played, and then went back home.

Lew and Margaret came and spirited me off this afternoon for a latte. We went to Starbucks on Old Spanish Trail, and, since I don't do lattes, I got apple slices with caramel for dipping. Mmmm! Very tasty, and it was fun, as always, to banter with Lew and Margaret.

I made another origami box after my supper of soup, and then went through some email and my groups.

By the way, I have a MySpace page now. I am not sure what I'll use it for, but I think that it's a requirement if you're single, and I guess that's what I am now. (In their Marital Status choices, they don't even list "widowed." Sheesh.)

And here I am! I sort of miss TV and I may go on and bite the bullet and get cable installed. It bothers me that I forgot to uninstall the cable TV at home first, though. :/ Hmm... maybe I can do that over the phone? but then... last time, when Michael and I did it together, we had to take the box thing back to the cable co. Oh well. I'll do something, even if it's wrong! :D