So I did some playing around, and here's the result:
I titled it Greenspace.Other than that, I did a bunch of email, played some Sudoku, and essentially chilled. The stupid thing is that I really wanted to go on a hike with the Meetup group, but I just plain chickened out. Once I get out, I do fine with other people. It's just hard for me to get OUT. I tell myself that I can do what I want, and that I don't want to go. But .. I do want to go places. I want to meet new people and experience new things. I feel as if this is a real fear, and I want to somehow jar myself off-center and fix this.
Thanks, John, Kathryn, and Becky, for your understanding and love. I know that I'm flaky right now and that I make some stupid decisions and assumptions. But I think it's wicked for these folks to treat me as they have. I miss my friends. And, with the exception of one or two, they are not here.
Hey, sis. I LOVE your greenspace artwork! I wish someone could say it was easy to get yourself up and out the door...I have NO excuses, but yet, I have the same problem. These darn panic attacks...what a pain!
ReplyDeleteThere are plenty of places to rent or buy around here, so yes, you can find something really nice right now and very reasonable. You could just bunk with us for as long as you like (not sure how to deal with the kitty, though). We should know today if we are going to purchase the Brownsburg home or not.
We are really pumped about seeing you and spending some time with you!
Take care and I will be happy to knock you out...I mean, off center! ;) Love you! Sis.
Greenspace, pretty name and pretty picture. Wish I was there to help get you out the door.
ReplyDeleteJ
Your greenspace artwork is really cool!! Sometimes its not easy to get out of the house but if you force yourself to do it then later on your glad you did it. At least it works for me. Molly and I love you lots too!!!
ReplyDeleteHi, Janee,
ReplyDeleteYou have me wanting to know how you did that Photoshop piece. Sometimes I sit down and buzz through an hour or two playing with PS. It puts me in a time warp. I start playing, then realize I'm hungry -- because I missed lunch.
Sorry you are going through some bummer time. It's bound to happen now and then. Do what it takes to bring it to an end.
Now go enjoy the scenery before you have to head out of town because summer is bearing down.
Love,
Lynell
Hi Janee;
ReplyDeleteI too would like to know how you created greenspace. It's stunning.
You know, I was one of those "jealous" persons once. And, of course, it turned out to be nothing. All it did was make me feel foolish, petty, and just plain stupid. And caused me to lose a dear friend. My loss...not hers. It's their loss, not yours.
Maxine (psnovice)
I have written before, because I have been in your position (widowed too young.) Many of my husband's male friends visited me on a regular basis during my early widwhood because they worried about me. And some people did talk. After a while it started to bother me that I was such a center of attention and it seems as if these catty people were using me as a way to avoid dealing with their own insecurities.
ReplyDeleteMy suggestion is to get out and do things for people who will appreciate them.. service organizations can give you a lot of direction. Often there are centers for volunteer activities in cities. You will get out and feel better, too. We were lucky to have been left a pretty good life without a lot of financial worry. AND you are talented.
I have a second wonderful life twenty years later, but it was not until I started to focus away from myself that I found my stride. Hope this helps a little.
Remember, living well is the best revenge.
Sue