But those of you who know the real me see a different person. I'm somewhat boxed-in. I have gotten to a point where it is difficult for me to venture out of my house, out of the Village alone. In fact, I believe I can count on one hand the number of times that I've left the Village by myself this season.
And it's not just since Michael died, either. For the past several years, with the single exception of my walking, I stayed home until he got home. Then we went out. I very rarely went shopping alone, even for groceries.
One thing I do know about fears is this: The first step in overcoming them is recognizing them. I just read a fine article on 5 life-changing ways to overcome fear. This guy is smart and his ideas are concrete and reasonable. And I'm taking it to the bank. The steps are, in brief, these:
- Take small steps.
- Find motivation to lose the fear.
- Learn to see failure differently.
- Live in the now.
- Be willing to redefine yourself.
Now, of course, I'm back in my cocoon, doing email and Sudoku on the computer! Small steps. . .
Yummy!
ReplyDeleteDorothy
SO, you didn't go alone. How many people take a camera to breakfast?
ReplyDeleteJ
Ah Janee. You are in kind of in between a rock and a hard spot. Guys are lucky in the fact that unless in very bad neighborhoods or dark alleys we are relatively safe. Women need to be more cautious.
ReplyDeleteYou have an additional parameter of not wanting to be scheduled. Lots of folks meet a lot of their friends through work, volunteer activities, church, or as you have found through hobbies.
Your photography skills are getting better. But you want to stay safe. Someplace where folks are around. Reminds me of a bio I read of Diane Arbus. She used to hang around clubs in New York City and photograph folks.
You're probably not much into like sketching or like watercolor painting. If you were you could like go to various locations like malls, parks, etc and spend some time creating art on location. I keep a little 4" x 6" pocket sketch book in my hip pocket. Little watercolor kit in my 'man bag.'
Don't I remember reading somewhere you play the piano? Seems like when I periodically stop in a nursing home I see a piano somewhere of the grounds. Most of them are desperate for some folks to pop by.
Or how's Maddy with people etc. Maybe she would could pass the test to become a certified therapy dog. Test as I remember is not being to distracted by another dog; not growling, jumping up on, or pawing people; not getting freaked out around wheelchairs or folks using crutches. There are cats, caveys, and even rats that are certified therapy animals as well. I just don't have a clue what kind of test they need to pass.
But everyone needs several circles they move in.
Ever think about Habitat for Humanity?
Ya can do. I know ya kin.
Looking back at every thing my sister has acomplished through the years, i know you can conquer your fears without any problems. If you need any help im sure I can find a way to help you. Maybe even traveling there and traveling back to Indiana with you might work.
ReplyDeleteLove you lots.
Hi Sister Mine,
ReplyDeleteI know what it is to not want to leave the house or go to dinner alone. I have times, when I'm home, when I don't leave the house, and I still can't bring myself to go to dinner alone. Lunch is doable, as I did that when Jim was living, but dinner or Sunday brunch, is another matter.
Do what is comfortable. Don't beat yourself up because you feel like staying home and not doing anything. I don't go to movies by myself, because, I don't feel comfortable doing that.
The thing to be aware of is to not let it take over your life completely.
I wish I could drive with you back to Indiana, but that can't happen now. I'll keep up with you by phone like I did when you went to AZ. Let me know when you leave.
Love you,
Me
I love you
ReplyDeleteJanee, here's a suggestion. Take yourself out to lunch every day. If you're solo, go somewhere with a counter. You'll meet interesting people, I guarantee you.
ReplyDeleteKnow who I once ran into at the counter next to me? Jack Kilby, inventor of the microprocessor that led to computers, which revolutionized the world. Know what I said to him, "Nice to meet you, Jack. Stay away from the chicken fried steak today. It's a little tough." Later, it hit me who that long, tall Texan was.
How many times do ya have lunch with a Nobel Prize winner?
Lynell