Sunny and Lovely

This morning I began by doing Zumba on the Wii with Jack. Then breakfast followed by a yoga class I opted into. I had never done actual yoga before and... eh... I guess I liked the physical part but disliked the mental stuff and chanting and all that. I have a hard time holding still, so it's probably good for me. We will have to see if I go back next Thursday. Stay tuned.

Next thing was FHTV Choir. I'm not feeling the energy from that yet, either, and we didn't even have chanting. We will have to see if I return to that next Thursday. Thursdays are pretty committed for me this season, and I don't enjoy being overscheduled.

This was taken by my friend Harold at the New Year's Eve dance:

What a fine evening that was! I used a cutting from that for my new profile photo for Facebook. :)

It's just a walk in the park

My main fun yesterday was going for a walk with Jack at Reid Park. We went all over the place, pausing to take some photos at the rose garden. There was an ice cream truck there and the atmosphere was festive. Kids were feeding the ducks in the pond and getting chewed out for playing in the waterfall. Others were being pushed ever higher in the swings.

I find it wonderful, that, even in this age of electronic everything, kids still enjoy swinging. Remember Robert Louis Stevenson's poem? 

The Swing

How do you like to go up in a swing,
Up in the air so blue?
Oh, I do think it the pleasantest thing
Ever a child can do!

Up in the air and over the wall,
Till I can see so wide,
River and trees and cattle and all
Over the countryside--

Till I look down on the garden green,
Down on the roof so brown--
Up in the air I go flying again,
Up in the air and down! 
     
--Robert Louis Stevenson

Here's something I was wondering: Why is it that, no matter how warm the day, no matter how warm the water, whenever you step under the shower, you always break out in goosebumps?

A New Year

New Year's Day! It's the day when I am self-consciously diligent. I eat a good breakfast. I make a to-do list, the first item of which is "Make a To-Do List." Today's the day I'll put into my long-term files all my 2012 stuff and make new folders for the new year's stuff. I'll finish up my thank-you notes.

And I'll likely put away at least part of my Christmas decorations. Michael and I used to wait for his birthday, the fifth, to do that. Maybe I'll wait till the 5th... And I've opted to wait till 2 this afternoon to do my walk, because it was just too cold at sunrise. There is actual frost on the awning!

New Year's Eve was fun here at Far Horizons. The dance was a "speakeasy" theme, with people dressing up like gangsters and flappers. I looked somewhat cute in a new dress, but it was not a real flapper dress. The band was good, music lively, and, while we did not do the Chicken Dance or the Macarena, we did do Y.M.C.A..

I made a big decision toward the end of 2012. I've decided that I'm not having any more to do with Mary, Jack's stepmother. I've come to the conclusion that she is not a good person, and not someone I want to have in my life. Skip the green paragraphs if you don't want to hear the story:

Mary's relationship with her stepsons, for reasons mostly unknown to me, has been strained. The boys continue to send her flowers and cards, which she does not acknowledge. Jack and I, when we are here, have been very helpful to her, taking her to church, running several errands with her each week, taking her dog to be groomed, to the vet, and on walks when Mary's been in the hospital. We've accompanied Mary on just numerous errand trips, mostly with me driving my car. We handle her trash. I fix her jewelry. I've even helped her bathe on a couple of occasions.

And, when she asked me, I offered to type up her obituary.

Upon reading what she'd written, it was obvious that she needed some editing done. Her obit was scattered and uncohesive. She'd left out many important facts of her life and all her facts were out of order. So I rewrote it. One thing I added was a line at the end, listing her stepsons, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and "many loving friends" as survivors. (She came into their family when the boys were 25, 22, and 13, so they've been part of her life for a very long time.)

I printed two copies for her, and gave it to her in an envelope along with her original. Six weeks passed. On Christmas Day, we enjoyed Christmas Buffet with her and some of her friends. After that, in her apartment, she asked me if I still had her original obituary. I replied that I'd returned it to her in the white envelope. She said, "You changed it." I said, "I know." She said, "I don't like it." Now the part with which she took issue was my listing of her survivors. She said she didn't want anything about her stepsons or "grandchildren I hardly know."

Stunned, I muttered something about people who know her family members would want to know that this was the same Mary.... She replied, "To each his own."

This is a sharp woman. She is not troubled by dementia. She knows just exactly what she is doing, and that is to shut out, to her dying breath and beyond, the only people who remain who are doing things for her and with her. I mean... a line in an obituary? Come on.

So after all of the many tanks of gas I've burned for her, after all of the shoe leather I've worn out walking around in stores with her, after spending the better part of two Tucson desert summers here looking after her, when I could have been doing anything else, I'm done with her. And, while I'm sick about Mary and what she is doing to her own life and legacy, I feel good about my decision. I'm done trying to change Mary into a decent human being. I am going to change what I can -- my own behavior. And I'm going to give my time, love, and attention to people who are worthy of them.  

So it's a new chapter for me. I'll have more free time, and I'm going to spend some of that time blogging! I'll spend some of it doing digital art, photography, and Photoshop. So there. :)

Making a List and Checking it Twice

... and, while most of the people on my list have been naughty, I hear that Santa will be visiting them! I did some ordering today (finally!) and Yay! Shipping was free for me.

I just went to track my desk order, and it's "in fulfillment," meaning that, at this point, the order cannot be cancelled! :) I'm so stoked and ready to have my new little desk!

Jack and I had a little shredding party today on his deck, shredding a liquor-sized box of old documents that needed to be shredded. This translated into two giant trash bags of shredded paper!

This morning, Jack went for a walk, and I stayed in and did Dance Dance Revolution. It'd been awhile since I'd gotten on that and it was still fun!

I have a new idea for my website redesign, so ... stay tuned. I've been threatening a redesign for ... uh... 7 years that I know of, so let's not any of us hold our breath, but just know that I'm thinking along these lines. Is it possible, after all this time, that the creativity is coming back for me?

All is cool...

... in Coolville! It has actually gotten a bit cooler here over the past week. This morning it was in the low 40's and my neighbor said that there was frost on his furniture outside. Light jackets get us nicely through the day, though, and the pool is still seeing visitors!

I did order the little desk http://www.computerdesks.com/computer-desks/rectangular-desks/bushbrandywinepulloutlaptopdesk.cfm . It's supposed to come on the 21st, and then I get to put it together. I've built many Bush desks, though, so I'm thinking that it will be straight-forward. ;) I brought my desk chair in from the shed and got the spiderwebs knocked off. Now I'm getting used to having it in the room, so that the desk will be less of a shock. Wow... we do hate change, don't we? LOL

Jack and I went with some other friends to a Thai Buddhist Monastery here in town for a buffet dinner of delicious Thai food. It was a really fun evening! We've been to several other holiday sorts of parties, too. It's challenging to keep the nutritious food coming, and the less-nutritious food from getting into my body, but I'm managing. I'm keeping my weight stable still.

To help with the fitness goals, I'm doing plenty of good exercise. I really love the Wii Zumba, which we're doing every M, W, and F at 6:20am. After that, we do a really good Strength and Fitness class with Greg, and then normal walking and whatever. The other days, we do either Zumba or walking. I have not missed a day of exercise since 10/25/11. I still recall fondly the 7.5 years that I went walking every day without missing a day. That ended in March 2009 when I broke my ankle on a hike.

Our choir in church sang a sort of difficult song, and we pulled it out. I was really concerned when I heard us in practice before the service, but ... LOL even the men came in when they were supposed to. I love singing. :)

I've also been playing my little penny whistle, and enjoying that mightily. I have a little book with Irish tunes in it and I'm coming along at mastering them. I basically rock, where music is concerned. ;)

12/12/12

This date is just too cool to let slide by without a blog posting! Things are going well for me. I've been helping Jack with getting alllll his mountains of stuff moved from his old cottage to his new one. Actually, it's pared down quite a bit from what he had, and he will be able to get it all put away over the next day or so.

Paid bills today so I'm feeling all responsible and stuff.

Our Tanque Verde Valley Singers concert on Saturday was lots of fun and we did well. Compliments just flowed. The music was fun Christmas music, with a few non-secular numbers and one Hanukkah song. Now I'm back down to just one choir -- church choir -- till after the first, when our FHTV choir will resume.

I'm thinking about getting some sort of desk. Not sure where to put it, but I just think I want a desk. It'll make it easier for me to use my computer and, therefore, to keep up my blog! I don't really like the laptop-on-the-lap bit anymore. Maybe one of those little "writing desks" sort of on the order of a console table. ... Hmmm. I will keep thinking about this. I think I'd rather have it in the living room, where I actually live, so I can see out and stuff.

Jack and I are going to be leading a Wii Zumba class on MWF at 6:20 am. LOL I know that's early, but there's someone else in the room at 7:30 and our Greg class is at 8:15. I rather like doing Zumba at 6:20, finishing by 7 or so, and then having plenty of time for a relaxed breakfast before Greg's class.

It's starting to cool down a little here, and we're even expecting some rain by Friday. I was wearing a light jacket much of the day.

I'm trying to figure out how the Fry's Cranberry Celebration salad is made. I think that it has red hots in it. Sounds silly, but I can't figure out how else they get that little bit of cinnamony heat. It's not a cinnamon flavor -- just a little bit of red-hot spice. Working on it. Will keep you posted.

Cooking for One

I usually do breakfast and lunch for myself, and have dinner with Jack. But my follower who posted the comment on my last posting made me think about cooking for one. Mostly, the challenge is in getting the motivation to just do it. It's easy to fall into the it's-not-worth-cooking-if-it's-just-me syndrome. This can be followed with the it's-not-worth-cleaning-if-it's-just-me syndrome and the the it's-not-worth-doing-laundry-if-it's-just-me syndrome. You catch my drift. You are worth caring for. You are the one who will be caring for you.

So we have to first acknowledge that, while we are not a couple, we are a whole person, and we're worth feeding. And, if we're going to eat, why not eat stuff we enjoy? There are some meals that I just won't cook if it's just me; those are things I have when I'm having company or when I go out to eat. But anything can be cooked for one person.

When my children left home, this left just Michael and me, and I had to adapt my cooking to "just two." Adjusting for one is not very different from this.

Planning can be freer and easier than it was when cooking for two. You have only yourself to answer, and so you can have things that are pleasing to you, no matter if anyone else approves. I actually do most of my planning for breakfast and lunch in the grocery store by just buying things that I'll be eating within the coming few days. (I like fresh food, so I eat it all up within a few days.)

TIP: If you're going to be living alone and cooking mostly for one, you will not need to keep a huge refrigerator full of food. If you do, none of it will be as fresh and delicious as you deserve. Also, if you keep your fridge too empty, it will not run efficiently. So I clean out milk jugs (or water or juice jugs) and then fill these with water and put them at the back of my fridge. I probably have 10 of these. My fridge runs efficiently, my food stays at the front of the fridge, where I can see it, and, should there be a water shut-off, I'll have water on hand to flush my toilets.

So what should you keep on hand? It depends upon what you like, and the style of meal you prefer. For breakfast, I like cereal, fruit, and milk. I have some combination of these most days. So I always keep fresh milk, fresh fruit, and cereals I like. If you're a bacon-eggs-toast person, then you'll keep these things on hand.

Lunch? I like to have a protein and a vegetable and milk. Protein can be as diverse as canned soup, lunch meat, a boiled egg, peanut butter, tuna or egg salad, or a chunk of smoked salmon. For a vegetable, I like a carrot, cucumber, pepper, .... you get the idea. Crackers are sometimes good with this. So these items I keep on hand, and then, when it's lunchtime, I put together my meal. Easy peasy, nutritious, and not huge in the calorie department.

Dinners involve a little more planning, if you're going to actually cook something. Plan out a few meals for the week (maybe 3). Go on and shop and cook as if you're cooking for 2 and then save half for day 2 or 3. Lunch foods will do fine for dinner too; just eat more, or add bread or potato salad.

One thing that single people should do is to look closely at frozen meals and at deli offerings in your grocery. Many of these are delicious, nutritious, and just right for one person. Be sure to check calorie counts (and number of servings per container) as well as fat and sodium amounts. Canned meals, including soups, stews, and the like, can be quite good too, but beware of the sodium.

You can always buy smaller quantities from your meat counter or your deli. If you're a chip, cracker, or cookie person, you can buy any of these in single-serving bags, which could forestall eating a whole large package of one of these.

A way to get around cooking for one is to invite someone over, even if it's a couple. You can also make, say, a batch of cookies, or a couple of pies, and give one to your neighbor. Parties and potlucks are a good excuse to make things that you love but maybe would not make for yourself.

How your serve yourself is important, too. Yes, I have sat in front of the TV with a jar of peanut butter and a spoon. LOL. The important thing to me is to remember that while I may be cooking for "just me," it is ME. I'm worth the care. Do sit at your dining table. Do use a plate and silverware. Do eat slowly and savor your food.

Owl in the Morning in the Moonlight

I didn't actually see the owl, but, over the din of the early-morning traffic, I could hear him clearly and close-by. I don't know what could possibly be more wonderful than awakening to the sound of an owl.

The day has been good. We began it with Wii Zumba in the Cactus Room, followed by breakfast and then exercise with Greg, a personal trainer who comes to our park and does a class involving strength and balance. I've come to the conclusion that, as we progress through life, if we don't work on strength, we lose what we have had. I surely don't want to lose what strength I have. Balance is another thing that we need to work on -- yes, you! I'm doing far better with both strength and balance since I've been going to Greg's class.

Jack and I went to the U of A campus today and took the shuttle to the bookstore and the Union Building. It's weird to be right in the same town with this great resource and not to explore it. So we explored a bit. It feels funny to feel so.... elderly... in the midst of all of the fresh-faced youth. We still had a good time, though.

I got my tablet hooked up to my laptop, and I played around a little with Photoshop yesterday. It felt good! Nothing worth sharing. ;)

Jack's banging around outside, working on some drawers for his closet. I think that he'd go crazy without some home-improvement project. I'm happy with my little hobbies -- my exercise, puzzles, games, art, music, and occasional cooking. Well, ok, I love home-improvement projects, too!

Keeping Busy

I've been keeping quite busy in Tucson this fall, and things don't show any signs of letting up. The first phase of the construction project of Jack's cottage is coming close to a finish. He has the skirting and deck done, lighting for the outside, and a massive amount of interior remodeling. And he's moved in! He is enjoying the huge kitchen (huge for a 400 square foot place) and his fireplace. I'm enjoying the convenience of having him right next door!

What remains to be done? We are going to be building him a shed for his tools. Then we'll move his tools out of my #2 shed, tear down my #2 shed and build me a new one. Then my #1 shed will be taken out and sold. Landscaping of our "back 40" and of Jack's front "yard" will be projects for the rest of the winter, and maybe next year too!

We have been involved in the Osher Lifelong Learning Institute, associated with the U of A, participating in some interesting discussion groups, and going to dinners and parties. It's a fun group, and we're learning things. Classes we've been in have included "Rethinking Christianity"; "Marijuana: Wicked or Wonderful?"; "Exploring Tucson Theater"; "National Security Concerns"; and a group discussing cybercrime and hackers.

We have kept culturally alive by going to a play at U of A, seeing some performances of Arizona Symphonic Winds, and I'm in two choirs -- our church choir and the Tanque Verde Valley Singers. The latter is a group that convenes once a week to rehearse, and then does two holiday concerts in December.

Healthwise, we're hanging in. Jack was experiencing dizziness, along with a couple of passing-out episodes. Finally we had this diagnosed as an arrhythmia, which he's had corrected with a pacemaker. He had that put in just 2 weeks ago. He is just about up to speed now, although he's had to have a couple of tweaks and had his meds adjusted too.

We are exercising daily, doing walking or Wii Zumba, which we discovered that we both love. I got the latest edition -- Zumba Core, and we alternate between Zumba 2 and Core. It is a really great workout.

My weight has remained constant, which is a real source of pride and joy for me. After all the years of ups and downs, it's great to feel like I have a real handle on it. It's so exciting to finally know the secret to keeping it off. :)

Mary, Jack's Mom, had another bout of pneumonia, another hospitalization, and she got out just in time for the Thanksgiving Champagne Brunch at Broadway Proper. I hate to think of what would have happened to the doctors and nurses, had they decided to keep her another day.

Today Jack is baking his most delicious chocolate chip zucchini bread and I'm taking it easy, doing the puzzles from the AZ Daily Star, catching up on email, and ... this is the biggie: I finally spent my accumulated points from my bank's points program. They have discontinued it, and I had till the end of 2012 to cash them in. I chose gift cards for fun places. :) They will send them to me in a couple of weeks. I'm stoked.

Celebrating Love

Today commemorates the fifth anniversary of Michael's last day of life. I've been sort of silently weepy, since I'm thinking about him alone.

It is odd to me that more and more, and in increasing numbers every day, people whom I know now didn't know Michael. I've even been asked if I'm divorced. That always makes me bristle.

And, while Jack knew Michael, I know he doesn't like hearing about him all the time. So it's just you and me tonight, Michael. It's us! Oh, how I miss you! How I ache to feel your arm around me, to hear your laugh, and your gentle and reassuring counsel. How I miss your unquestioning, unwavering, and unconditional adoration. I wish I could kiss your cheek one more time. I wish I could feel your hand in my hair. I wish I could hear you telling me you're proud of me.

God, will this pain never end? I know that it has abated some. I go sometimes a month without crying now. I still long to find my creative spark again. I know Michael would want me to, and I want it for myself. Bbbbb... Enough blubbering. Tomorrow will be a new day.

Location : Mohave, Tucson, AZ 85710,