Pitchin' & Tossin'

Today was a little cooler than it has been. I think that the high was about 62, which was, of course, not horrible! LOL! We got a few little sprinkles of rain, and the skies WERE cloudy all day. I did my walk along the Pantano River Park, and it was the first time for me to do that without Maddy, ever, I think. I don't know if I've said it in here, but it's been very, very difficult for me to live without Maddy. I hope that she's happy with D, and that D's happy with her. I just have to think that she's better off now, because I am not. I cry a lot these days.

This was sort of a difficult day for me, parts of it. I was working on clearing out stuff in my files and I found things that Michael had written -- notes about business stuff that he'd called about, things like that. And I found condolence cards that wonderful people (maybe you!) had written to me, sweet notes telling wonderful things about Michael. And I found a big stack of thank you notes that I'd written over a year ago, thanking people for making memorial donations in his name. Sheesh. I wonder if it would be lame to send these out now.

I put a bunch of things into recycling, and I have another 4" stack of papers to go into the shredder. I have to say that it's gotten far easier for me to throw things away, but it's still wrenching. I found some of those smashed penny souvenirs that Michael and I had collected together. Shared memories when the other person is gone...

But on a happier note, I did the Sudokus in the Tucson Sunday paper, and that was fun. I like trying to do them without notes.

And I did manage to get some things put away and better organized. I now have one of the filing cabinets completely empty. I have a couple of cabinets in the living room empty. And I have the stuff that was in there put away (or thrown away) in such a way that nothing is crowded. I don't like having too much stuff crowded into a space. I still have work to do with my clothes. I got a bit "spread out" during last winter here, when I moved out Michael's clothes and took over his side of the closet! :)